This episode explores three core questions in Girardian mimetic theory: why some people are more mimetic than others, whom we choose to imitate, and which specific attributes of a model get imitated — arguing that mimetic desire stems from an existential lack, that an economy of esteem determines who appears to have “fullness of being,” and that narratives assign signature qualities to models which then become the targets of imitation.
The Driver of Mimetic Susceptibility: Existential Lack
Mimetic desire is driven by a felt deficiency in being — a deep existential shame or lack — and we imitate models who appear to possess a fullness of being.
The degree to which someone is mimetic corresponds to the size of the gap between the amount of being they expect to have and the amount they actually feel.
This gap (the “lack”) can be widened in two directions: by raising expectations of oneself or by lowering the felt sense of one’s own being.
Two Levers That Widen or Narrow the Lack
Raising expectations produces megalomania: figures like Caesar wept upon learning Alexander had achieved more by the same age, revealing hyper-mimetic drive despite outward grandiosity.
Lowering felt being occurs through social shame, failure, or lack of success; repeated success in work, athletics, or competition builds confidence that increases felt being and thereby reduces mimetic susceptibility.
Success genuinely works as an antidote to mimetic drive — a point many Girardians overlook — because it directly raises the denominator in the lack equation.
Self-Conception and the Trap of Sameness
Girard argues the being we want is exclusionary: we want to be uniquely the best, not merely equal among peers.
When self-conception overlaps heavily with another person (e.g., two Goldman Sachs analysts), their advancement feels like one’s own diminishment because the metric of being is zero-sum.
This insight underlies Peter Thiel’s “competition is for losers”: the solution is a fundamentally different self-conception that avoids direct rivalry.
Practical Application: Differentiating Identity
The speaker applied this by layering identities — philosophy student, then entrepreneur, then “philosophy-plus-business-plus-YouTube” — so that no single peer group shares the same composite self-conception.
This can devolve into coping (e.g., “he has more followers but I have more money”), but a healthy manifestation of difference is possible and reduces mimetic pressure.
Environment Matters: New York vs. San Francisco
New York offers multiple status poles (finance, media, athletics, entertainment) that let people balance identity across domains.
San Francisco concentrates status on a single axis (tech), making it harder to escape mimetic competition — even surfing becomes a venue for Tesla-stock talk.
Mimetic Rivalry as a Lack-Amplifying Mechanism
Direct rivalry with a similar other simultaneously raises expectations (the rival seems to have fullness of being) and, when losing, lowers felt being (confidence drops).
This double action makes mimetic rivalry a powerful accelerator of the lack that fuels further mimesis.
Who We Imitate: The Economy of Esteem
“Fullness of being” is too abstract to guide imitation in practice; the operational signal is esteem — whoever a person’s reference community esteems appears to have fullness of being.
Two people in the same environment (e.g., San Francisco) can imitate totally different models (a Tibetan guru vs. a tech founder) because their developmental esteem-economies differed.
Developmental Origins: Learning What Counts as Fullness
During development, we mimetically absorb our caregivers’ desires: we learn which qualities (chillness, wealth, intelligence) signal fullness of being by observing whom they esteem.
This explains why people raised in similar settings end up with divergent mimetic targets — the esteem economy they internalized differs.
Narcissism as a Self-Reinforcing Mimetic Loop
The narcissist (Girard’s coquette) esteems only herself, projecting an illusion of self-sufficiency that seduces suitors into imitating her desire for herself.
The loop closes because the narcissist sustains her self-esteem by imitating the esteem of her suitors — each side feeds the other’s mimetic desire.
What Attributes We Imitate: Narrative-Defined “Signature” Qualities
We imitate whatever qualities we believe give the model their fullness of being — like apostles identified by distinct attributes (keys, staff, sword, scale).
These signature qualities are assigned mimetically by the narratives surrounding the model; advertising exploits this (Michael Jordan sells sneakers by suggesting ownership transfers a slice of his being).
Not every attribute of the model is imitated (no one shaves their head to “be like Mike”) — only those the narrative marks as the source of the model’s fullness.
